Eating a lot and then Throwing up :(

The other day I was trying to forcefully vomit out the food I had eaten because I felt guilty that I had eaten a lot… for the first time. But then again I tried the same thing yesterday, but actually felt guilty that I was troubling my body so much, and it did give up on me. I could not sleep whole night thinking about people who have this disorder Bulimia Nervosa and Anorexia Nervosa. The first time I read about it I felt that it was not such a big “Disorder” as it was portrayed. I thought that “oh! That is cool… so you can eat anything you want and then all you need to do this puke it out… Isn’t it great ?!?”

(Image taken from: http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=4030051939148067540)

But when I did it yesterday, I felt really bad… bad emotionally, physically and mentally. I felt why am I doing this to myself and my body? It is just so sadL . The body that takes care of you… if you take care of it little… this is all I have to give it back? I was feeling so low and depressed that I could not sleep all night and then decide that I will blog about it… Not because I wanted to take off the guilt that I felt… but to tell somebody who is in the same state as mine that this is not right. It is not right for you because it ruins your health not only physical but also mental health.

There are many articles about it and we might have read about it… but would have not taken it so seriously because it is just another article where somebody has some disorder and it actually becomes interesting because it is one of the ways you can lose weight the easy way after eating a lot or not eating at all. How sad can this be? Our body needs some nutrition every day to allow us to do the daily chores but then we don’t even want to give it that or take that all off because we think we might have over done it? What is wrong with us and why?

These disorders are also hereditary, can be caused because of biological and environmental factors… but it needs to be cured. Need to be cured because they are so dangerous as tumors or cancer. Tumors or cancer just eat us physically and by the end of it we know what is going to happen… but these are far worse because these eat us physically, mentally and emotionally. Not only do they affect us but people around us because if we are not happy with ourselves… how can we promise or at least take the effort to keep our loved ones happy? How? How?

So this is to all the people who feel being thin is cool and if we feel that, then there are right/correct ways to do that. This is not a right… forget this is NOT even a way to be thin. Please do consider this… because I realized what I was doing is bad for me and have started to go in the correct path and want others to try that also.

My 10 day Trip

In 5 years of marriage, this is the first time that I had taken so many days off for a vacation. So I wanted to share it with everyone I know. Talking about it to each person can get tire some… so here I am writing about it.

My trip started on 22^nd May with a travel from Bangalore to Karad (a place which is 120 Km off Pune… and the place my husband works) by train (Rani Chenamma Express – which travels only to Kolhapur). I boarded the train at 9:15 pm in the night and the journey started. I had got a Side upper berth in 3^rd AC… so was waiting if somebody could exchange it with me since I had my son with me. But…after trying hard and with every person in the compartment, I found one person who had an Upper berth who exchanged it with me.

Then, came the T.T and he started checking tickets… there was a man in the train (one cabin before me) who was drunk and when the T.T came, he was having dinner… so he refused to get his ticket checked by the T.T… instead of doing that, he actually started arguing with the T.T and yelling at him. But the T.T was a good man, he did not argue and actually said that he would be back to check his ticket when he is done with his dinner. This happened and then everybody went off to sleep. I tried hard but could not sleep because the upper berth is not comfortable and small for my height. Somehow managed to spend the night and then reached Kolhapur at 2:00 pm (on Saturday: 23^rd May) where my husband was waiting to pick us up. Took a bus from there to Karad and reached there by 4:30 pm.

When I reached home, I had a shock of my life… My husband had cooked food for us!!! Rice and sabji for us and he specially made Dal for Shaunak (my son) since he would not eat the sabji. This was the biggest gesture from him I have had in 5 years. I was awed by this and fell in love with him all over again.

The house was so dirty that I had to clean it up first even before I could think of eating though I was hungry. Cleaned up the place and then gave a bath to Shaunak, his father fed him and let him off to play. Then took a bath and then had lunch cum dinner. After this, spent the rest of the time talking to my husband… went off to sleep early and the day ended.

The next day Sunday started with cleaning up the place. Made breakfast (Sand witch and tea) and then went off to bathing Shaunak and washing clothes and everything. By the time the daily chores ended, it was afternoon. I prepared lunch. We finished eating and decided that we go watch a movie. We watched Kites (3 to 6 show)… from there went to Big Bazaar… did some shopping… brought some ready to eat sabji… came home… had it with the reaming rice and Dal (prepared in lunch) and went off to sleep. The next day was Monday and my husband had to go to work… he went late and came back early when I asked him the reason for this… he said because I have come and he wants to spend time with me… so he is going late and will be back early. I did know how to react to this… my love for him was increasing day by day and minute by minute.

That day when he left…I had again washed the place because I was not satisfied with the cleanliness which took the whole day and he returned back from work. I made some rice and sabji and we had dinner. We spent time talking (which happens very rare ;)) and then again back to sleep. The next day we went to Satara (100 km from Karad) to see one of his colleagues daughter (their first daughter had expired when she was 3 months old because of doctor’s negligence and this second baby had come 2 years later after that incident in their life).

So, we went to Satara picked up another colleague who had come from Daman. This travel took us 2 to 3 hours. Went to see the kid… spend some time there and then went to have lunch. Had lunch and then went to one of the sites in Satara (My husband works for a company which deals with Windmills). After that, my husband and his colleagues had some work in office and hence I and the other colleague’s wife decided that we will go shopping while they are at work. We went shopping… I bought clothes for Shaunak and then we left Satara by 7 pm. By the time we reached Karad, it was 9 pm and I had this craving to eat Vadapav but my husband did not ask the driver to stop the vehicle any where since he (the driver) would get late to go home. So we came back home and I was angry that he did not get me Vadapav… did not cook… did not eat anything… fed Shaunak milk and then pretended to go to sleep. My husband took the effort to cook for us (again). He cooked but he did not eat (since I was not eating)… so I had to eatL. But was still angry with him… did not speak to him and went off to sleep.

The next day we had to leave for Daman(where my husband had a 3 day training on Customer Relationship Management)… the train was at 11 pm in the night… so my husband decided, he will go to work and be back early leaving me all alone to do the cleaning and packing his stuff and mine. I had to pack it separately because I had booked my train to Bangalore from Mumbai. He went to work… I started my daily chores… finished all the cleaning, washing, cooking and packing. Cooked dinner and kept calling him… he kept saying he will leave in half an hour… every hour since I called him and finally he was home by 10:45 pm (when we had a train at 11pm). The problem with Karad station is that no train halts there for more than 2 minutes. I locked the house and by the time we left it was 10:55pm. The station is 5-6 kms from home. Somehow the driver made us reach the station in 4 min and we were there a minute before the train left. Our ticket was in 3^rd AC but since we were late and the train started moving… we had to get in the sleeper class coach. As we got in… it reminded me of the movie ‘Jab we met” because even I have never missed a train and I started laughing. But the happiness was momentary as I realized that we had to now go through 8 coaches now to get to 3tier. Somehow when we got to the compartment… the entrance to it was closed… we banged and shouted but no use. Then I had to go to the T.T and requested him. He called up the blanket boy who then opened the entrance and finally we got into the compartment. We found our seat… some other lady was sleeping there with her kids. Had to wake her up… The T.T gave her another se

at and then checked our tickets and went. I served dinner for my husband and then we all went off to sleep. To get to Daman we had to travel from Kara to Mumbai (8 hr journey), from Mumbai to Vapi by train (another 4 hrs) and then to Daman by car (half an hour). We reached Daman at quarter to one. The hotel (Sagar Presidency) booking was done by the company before we reached there. We got to the hotel freshened ourselves, had lunch and all of us went off to sleep. We got up by 6:30 and then had some tea… got ready… found out a place nearby where we could go to and then left the hotel by 7:30 pm.

Daman is actually divided in two parts called Nani (means small in Gujarati) Daman and Moti Daman (means big in Gujarati). We went to this place called Daman Pequendo Jetty (in Nani Daman) which was a kilo meter away from the hotel.

The hotel was in a place called Tin Batti. There is a small circle near the hotel which had three lamps and a milestone which is actually the place where Portuguese had surrendered to the then Lieutenant (I forgot the nameL). Damao Pequendo Jetty is the place where the Da

mao-Ganga river meets with the Arabian Sea (I guess ;)). It is a silent beach (but you can’t reach the water :( ) with a small park (named Gandhi park) for kids. Also, there is a fort called Nani Daman Fort with a church inside. We could not get inside the fort or the church as the entry is allowed only for a certain period of time and only with a special permission from the priest (how bad and sad). In jetty, near the beach there is also a temple… I don’t know of whom because it was closed. There is a bridge (Daman - Ganga Bridge) which crosses over to Moti Daman where there is another Fort, the stately Light house, Gardens, Historic Monuments and ancient Churches in Gothic style but we could not do that because it was really late and dark. We spent time at Jetty itself… had ‘Chana Jor Garam’. Also, we had chat and Falooda (yummy) and left the place by 9:30. Reached hotel and went off to sleep.

The next day my husband went to his “training” and was back by 7:30 pm. We left the hotel to go to another place – Devka Beach. It was 4 to 5 kilo meters from Nani Daman. This was also a beach which had amusement park, camel rides, pony rides, loads of restaurants (with bars) and a small shopping line. The water was far away as the tide had passed and we could only sit in the park because it was totally dark near the beach. The amusement park has a mini Columbus and train for kids, lots of swings and slides (all of which were brokenL). We had to wait for few other colleagues of his because there was a company dinner which was arranged for all the employees (and their families ;)) who had come to attend the training. We waited and people came… all together there were sixteen colleagues, 3 women (including me) and three kids (one each ;)).

We had dinner and left. Had some argument with my husband and went off to sleep. Next day again, he left for training and came back very late so we could not got Jampore beach and decided to go back to Jetty and spend time. Spent time there… came to the hotel and day ended. The next day we left Daman and took a train from Vapi to Mumbai (Dadar) by 1pm. Then travelled to Andheri from Dada (my sister-in- law’s place) by 3pm. Had lunch at her place… and stayed there. We had to catch another train from Dadar at 9:30 the same day. My sister-in-law was supposed to come with me to Bangalore since we had got only one seat for two of us and she decide to drop off so that my seat will be confirmed. So we left and got the train (Chalukya Express)… my husband had to get down at Karad (which we reach by 5 in the morning) so we all went to sleep. He got down at Karad in the morning and I continued the Journey with Shaunak. I reached Bangalore at 11pm since the train was late by an hour. My brothers came to pick me up and all the four of us came to my house (in Banshankari). This concluded my 10 day trip.