Marriage

What is the true meaning of marriage? I have been married for four years and then on have been trying to find answers for this question and till now haven’t succeeded. Marriage is a big dream most of the Indian girls dream of and when the expectations that we have and had associated from marriage does not get satisfied is when the whole problem starts. I always felt marriage should just not be like other commitments adding up to rest of your commitments but it should be the one you are ready for and should not be forced on to even by yourself.

Many of us would have seen this saying or a phrase written on t-shirts ‘I was born intelligent but education ruined me’ with me marriage is also become one of such saying i.e. ‘I was happy before marriage but marriage ruined it for me’. After thinking of such a saying I wonder is this true or is it my portrayal of it? Is it gone so bad that everything is ruined and has become irreparable? I wonder and that is what is become of me… I am unable to find a path that would lead me through this or maybe it is just that I haven’t been able to figure out a way from this. When I say a way out does not mean a divorce or something but a way to sort out the confusions in my mind regarding it. The dissatisfactions I have mentally even so to say intellectually.

Many a time marriage to me seems like this owner servant relationship where my husband is the owner and I am serving him because he did a favor by marrying me. This is what I want to question. For men, wife means-my house, my car and my wife. We become a mere materialistic thing which is owned by our husbands. But we are not just that we are more than they can think or even imagine about. We are much more capable of what they can handle but we choose not to. I think, this whole choice of ours trying to mould ourselves according to some ones whims and fancies starts the whole problem. This is what is bringing the unhappiness and dissatisfaction in the term ‘marriage’.

Marriage is a whole new journey I started off with a new person, with new thoughts, expectations and a whole new meaning. But sometimes down the lane I find myself alone wondering what happened to my partner and find that my partner is found a whole new path to travel through this new journey and has reached or is about to reach the destiny he set for himself. More than anything it becomes two different journeys we are onto whereas it was suppose to be one path to be followed to reach ‘The destiny’ which is full of happiness, understanding and respect for each other.

I do not understand or realize where did it suddenly divide into two different journeys and why? Am I on the wrong path or is it that “the destiny’ I am referring to does not exist or not important at all? I wonder has it become more of a competition and people who were suppose to be on the same path and journey have suddenly become competitors of each other in race where they want to prove something to each other not knowing exactly what it is that they want to prove? I am so lost that I want someone to hold my hand take me out of this whole confusion and show me the right path to be on or at least show me the true way of living life which is much more meaningful and worth it.